MOONFLOWER

A joyful disillusioned rebuttal to the dogmatic religious beliefs that purport queerness as unnatural or unspiritual. A double entendre to give praise to a lover and, simultaneously, to “god” for making/designing the author to feel/be homosexual.

Lyrics:

I would blindly pray that God would make me straight
Til you came into my life and lit the flame baby
Now I see the sun, I’m out at that parade
Now I feel so “They can’t help but stop and say

What happened?
You’re glowing”
and I tell them
It’s all thanks to you

Everyday
You light the way
You make me love you make me gay
I’d get down on my knees to thank you
Either way
You stay
Turning my life from night to day
And that’s why you deserve the praise

Call you Daddy do exactly what you say
Lead me right into temptation with your snake
With your apples and
I’ll swallow it like “Hallowed be thy name”
If this fruit is so forbidden why’s it taste like
Heaven?
As beautiful as Steve was with
Adam
Sometimes I don’t even feel deserving of my self

A metaphor about a trampled pansy who continues to grow despite the trauma. A reclaiming of the word “Pansy” as a gay-bashing insult. A song to inspire resilience.

Lyrics:

They call
You names
Limp-wristed
Gay gay gay

But flaming
Bouquets
Just light up
Their shade

When all that fruit gets ripe
Baby the truth will shine
All fairies do is fly
Through their lies
With every stone they would throw
You’ll climb from a hole in the
Dirt that the their words only might fertilize

Grow grow grow grow little pansy, yeah

They’d trample
Your pride
If queens thrones weren’t
Up so high
Let them ramble
Jesus Christ
Don’t cast your pearls before swine

When all that fruit gets ripe
Baby the truth will shine
All fairies do is fly
Through their lies
With every stone they would throw
We’ll rise in a row from the
Dirt that the their words only might fertilize

A narrative that points to the concepts of western neo-advaita by following a wild stallion, named “Love”, who was captured by us and then escaped. Our search for “Love” represents the insatiable desire of the spiritual ego to find wholeness.

Lyrics:

Wild Stallion
We called you love
You found us
In lack thereof
You gave us everything
We want
We tied you up

In a fright
One summer night
Somehow you had broken through
Up in flight and you were
Gone
All this time we’ve been looking
You’d think we would see the truth
By now love is free

You led us to the fresh water front
Our thirst must have not been enough
That gate you bolted through
Was one
We couldn’t shut

Far and wide
Out every night
Searching every acre through
Not a sign you’ll ever
Come
All this time we’ve been seeking
You’d think we would find the truth
Love can’t make us drink
By now love is free

Wild Stallion
Running like the wind
Show us how to be tough
You were enough
Free as love

A metaphor which compares a closeted gay lover to a moonflower; Only coming out in the dark to his private love. A question as to whether he must go through all of that hiding and suffering to let his true colors see the light of day (be happy.)

Lyrics:

You walked in
So macho
It made me wonder why

I caught your eye like
A blossom
Before you blushed and turned aside
I knew

In the summer night breeze when our bare feet caress
I’d be your secret
Kissing under that tree like the sun needs to set
Your truth
Lights up the moon
Flowers
My Moonflower
Why just through
The darkest hour
might you open your bloom?

Must your love make you suffer
Just to let your true colors
See the light of day?

The petals say
You love me
The vine grows firm and long

But you’re only mine
Behind the scenes
Just plants the seed that you may not
Love you

In the summer night breeze when our bare feet caress
We keep no secrets
Kissing under that tree like the sun needs to set
Our truth
Lights up the moon
Flowers
My Moonflower
Why just through
The darkest hour
Might you open your bloom

Must your love make you suffer
Just to let your true colors
See the light of day
When you bloom?

A letter to a friend with whom the author has quarreled and since lost touch with. A pun to express that the author’s feelings for the friend are still as loving and evergreen as the pines remain under the winter ice.

Lyrics:

You and I
Had a flame so bright
Left to die
Out in the freezing rain

Since our fight
We went dark as night
I will pine
For when the seasons change

You’ll find me
Under the ice our sapling of love lives on
Inside me
And in no time we’ll notice the forest through the trees
When the snow can melt in the spring
You’ll find me
Evergreen

Don’t you cry
I will wait for sunshine
Take your time
I’ll always be this way

A devotional to a lover that the author no longer needs to sail in search of another.

Lyrics:

True Love
Could be far way
I could search all night
Across the moonlit waves

He could
Sweep my heart away
With his warm dark eyes
And lips I’d long to taste
I can just picture the face

Suddenly
In front of me
It’s you
Clear as a tune
How could he
Show me a love more true?

I don’t care
It’s your eyes
That sing like nightingales
I don’t care
It’s your smile
That swings wild ponytails
I don’t care
It’s your love
That has me folding up my sail

They might
Think my love is strange
But when I’m in your arms
It feels as right as rain
Despite whatever they wanna say

To my surprise
Of all the guys
You picked me
How can it be?
Why should I have a
Mind for what they think?

A rebellion against the puritanical myth of laziness purported by the sin of idleness. An anthem for relaxing the self-imposed need to always be productive.

Lyrics:

You could throw a party
With my favorite dessert
Bring the blow and Bacardi
But it still wouldn’t work
No, no

Cuz I feel so good just sitting here
With my laptop on my lap
And some red wine in my glass

No I’m not crazy
Baby don’t hate me
Call me if you need a ride
Yeah
Shoot the shots, baby
You could not pay me
I’m just so lazy tonight

Lazy to nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah tonight
Lazy to nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah

I should say I’m sorry
But I don’t really care
So if you’re talkin’ ’bout something like a movie
And the leading man is handsome maybe I’ll be there
No, Yeah

Cuz I feel so good just sitting here
With my laptop on my lap
And some red wine in my glass

A longing to reconnect.

Lyrics:

Oh I was just calling to check on you
Are you feeling alright?
Me, I’m just scraping by
Guess its been a while since I’ve heard your voice

Sounds crazy
but just maybe I’m the one in need
Forgive me if I make it too tough
If I chatter you up
If you matter so much to me

I can be
Distant and Loving if that’s what your wanting underneath
In time we’ll see
The mess in between us will move and set free what’s underneath
Underneath, I love you

A mantra for shame resilience.

Lyrics:

I don’t have to suffer to be happy, now.

A metaphor which relates the welcoming of loved ones to one’s physical home with feeling at home in the temple of the body from a spiritual perspective.

Lyrics:

This old
Kitchen window
Loves to see
Your car
Drive up my street

This door
Would swing wide open
Like my whole week
You should just
Keep that spare key

And if your ever up my way
All the cares of the world can wait
If you’d stay

You’re
Always welcome
These old hallways seldom
Feel as much like heaven when your gone
Than when you know you are

This heart
Pine floor never
Looked so clean
Just like this bed’s
Sheets you could sleep

So if your ever up my way
And you wanna get shit-faced
I’ll say (refrain)

Co-Producer, Mixing Engineer, Mastering Engineer

Album Artwork, Renderings

Photography

Writer of the leads synth part on “Always Welcome”

Writer, Performer, Recording Engineer, Co-Producer